Tag Archives: rappers

What Yani would do if she was a fat rapper: The Rick Ross Edition

When the subway ride gets a little too long I like to indulge in one of my favorite fantasies: What Would I Do if I Was a Fat Rapper? There’s also What Would I Do If I Was a Hefty Emmy-Winning Star of 30 Rock (see Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan and their paunch every week alongside svelte Jane Krakowski and Tina Fey). And What Would I Do If I Was A Chubby Radio DJ Who Liked to Talk Shit About How Women Look (aka The Funkmaster Flex Chronicles). On this morning’s Q train ride to Times Square, I dared to dream that if I was Rick Ross, instead of coming to work I could live it up and…
Ignore all rules about black being the slimming color.

Ignore all rules about black being the slimming color.

Give loverman looks, complete with thumb seductively in my mouth. Because I'm sexy as fuck. And you know it.

Give loverman looks, complete with thumb seductively in my mouth. Because I'm sexy as fuck. And you know it.

Fuck the bitches with the most bangin' bodies and make them think they're the lucky ones.

Fuck the bitches with the most bangin' bodies and make them think they're the lucky ones.

Grab my nuts while looking off thoughtfully into the distance.

Grab my nuts while looking off thoughtfully into the distance.

Never ever ever ever ever again suck in my gut...

Never ever ever ever ever again suck in my gut...

Ever.

Ever.

Make Method Man cuddle me out in public, even in front of the press.

Make Method Man cuddle me out in public, even in front of the press.

Dare the world not to love me and buy my shit.

Dare the world not to love me and buy my shit.

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Filed under Randomness, the devil's work, Uncategorized, weight