Ak, Yani and their homie No-No went to see the all-Black Broadway revival of Cat On a Hot Tin Roof last night. Terrence Howard was underwhelming onstage, but seeing James Earl Jones at his most boombastic, and beholding the silky, ladylike gangsta of Phylicia Rashad in person made this play well worth the $75 they spent for their discount balcony seats.
Still, Ak was distracted. While Yani and No-No were likely focusing on Tennesee Williams’s seething dialogue and thinking really smarty arty thoughts about Debbie Allen’s directorial choices, Ak was busy envying Anika Noni Rose for being soooo pretty and toned (see above pic).
Embarrassed at her shallowness, Ak then tried to muster up some serious thoughts. Here’s what she was working with:
-I wonder if the kiddies can see that Tony-winner Anika Noni Rose telegraphs more sex appeal on a Broadway stage than professional gyrator Angel Lola Love (see pic below) does in Kanye’s Good Life video.
-I wonder if I can actually see sexy through my own lens or is it filtered through the eyes of DILFs (Dudes I’d Like to Fuck)?
-Why does Terrence Howard still have a what looks like a box in ’08? If a woman wore the equivalent–say a mushroom–would she get the same burn that he does?
-Why does sexiness have so much currency anyway? Before sexy became synonymous with “interesting” and “talented” and “person you should give a fuck about,” how were women (and men) evaluated in the popular imagination?
-Why are different iterations of “the sexy” about the only thing I appreciate about Sean Combs’s creative output?
Clearly Ak failed on the deep thoughts tip. She never said she was Khalil Gibran. If you’re a philosopher and want to muse on the sexy, please do.