Category Archives: the devil’s work

Connie. Gabby. Work!!!



Yesterday, as I was writing about Constance Jablonski’s blackface-with-a-random-Black-baby shoot, deja vu struck. Hard.

I was all like, “Is it that this chick looks like ‘fro’d out Claudia Schiffer on the cover of Stern Fotographie? Like French Vogue‘s shoe-polished Lara Stone? Al Jolson freaking “My Mammy”? Marsha Ambrosius?”

Then it hit me: Under the frankenlights of an ignorantly conceived and poorly executed photo shoot, the ruddy Frenchwoman Jablonski and a dark brown, Senegalese-American superstar by the name of Gaboure Sidibe are about the same complexion—chestnutty, with newborn baby poo undertones. Fashion magic!

Pantone, MAC, Sherwin-Williams: If you’re looking for a color-branding specialist, I’m available.

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Filed under Blackface, crazy+racism=cracism, Shady lady stuff, Should be embarrassed, the devil's work, Uncategorized, Vogue

Hurt people hurt people: The Jimi Izreal and Ak incident

Please listen to yesterday’s Micheal Eric Dyson radio program. I’m on there trying (unsuccessfully) to reframe the dialogue about Black women’s love lives with The Denzel Principle‘s Jimi Izreal without losing my ish.

It starts at about 33.01.

Juxtaposed with the preceding segment–an interview with Simeon Wright, who witnessed the August 28, 1955 kidnapping of his 14-year-old cousin, Emmett Till–my and Jimi’s exchange sounds so silly and cynical. To borrow a phrase from Raiyshe, a commenter from the Precious post, my spirit feels dirty.

I hope Jimi’s does too.

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Filed under Choosing love, crazy+racism=cracism, double standards, Faux empowerment, the devil's work, Uncategorized

A new standard for ignance: “Love yourself, hoe.”

It always fascinates me when Black women use permutations of “Black Is Beautiful” and “love the skin you’re in” to ether other sisters. That’s why I’m marveling over the latest incendiary jewel from Khia.

On Vibe.com’s One Q, One A, blogger Tray Hova asks Khia if she’s been taking shots at Barbie loyalist Nicki Minaj to drum up publicity for her upcoming album. The pro-lickey Thug Misses replies:

“Publicity stunt? Honey, what do I need publicity for? … Everybody knows that I’m against the Barbie thing. I’ve always been real. My hair is as nappy as an African after a rainstorm. We’re all beautiful just the way we are. I’m against the butt shots. I’m not into the wigs. I’m not into the Barbies. No.”

As if the “nappy as an African after a rainstorm” piece isn’t enough, Khia adds,

“She doesn’t make music for girls. It’s a difference when I say ‘My neck, my back, my pussy, my crack,’ because it’s my own. You should be making men bow down. I respect myself. Love yourself, hoe.”

Now one could argue that spotlighting/critiquing/doing color commentary about Khia’s ignance is a waste of time and brain cells. (It is, sort of. Unless you count this my contribution to the growing field of Ignance Studies.)

One could also make a strong case against the icky Pecola Breedlovalization of Ms. Minaj’s image. When she pumps that Harajuku Barbie (or Marilyn Monroe or new-faced Lil’ Kim) idea without unpacking or questioning the currency of it, she’s asking for cheap shots from shit-starters like Khia and Keys, a Nikki D-esque rugged child from Baltimore.

But in my book, the Devil’s Bargain Nicki’s made with pop consumers is a little less offensive than Khia’s pimping of Black affirmation and “rap bitch” empowerment. In the twisted universe of hip-hop morality, Nicki comes out on top.

Love yourselves, hoes.*

Get up, stand up!

Lil' Marilyn Monroe Barbie

Random aside: Sometimes Nicki sounds like Amil. 'Member her?

*Morally, politically and intellectually, this makes no sense as a kicker. But it’s too funny to resist.

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Filed under Faux empowerment, Shady lady stuff, the devil's work, Uncategorized

I got called a n**ger b**ch!

From Ak:

Tonight as I sat on the subway reading a book and minding my business a crazy, stinky white man called me a n**ger b**ch! His bizarro commentary was the result of my glancing to my left and meeting his unmedicated eyes. For that transgression, Funk Massa No Home thought it made sense to take it back to the days of Ms. Jane Pitman.

Now this New York story should end here with me musing about the apparent failure of the city’s homeless and mental health services. But I’m too prideful, Leonian and unhinged my damn self to let some filthy alabaster roach get one off.

So right before I moved to the next car to escape his krazy stare and eau-de-somebody-died, I explained how ironic it was that he hated bitches when he was wearing sheer knee-highs clearly manufactured and marketed to BITCHES.

He responded with a forceful “Fuck you, n***ger b**ch!”

I responded with an equally nuts “No. Fuck yooooU, you FUCKING BITCH!

Of course I’m not convinced that my response was effective. But in lieu of a loaded gun or a higher level of Jesusness, counter-crazying this fool hit the spot.

Maturity is overrated.

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Filed under crazy+racism=cracism, subway, the devil's work

An entire blog devoted to Seattle police brutality, etc.

Interesting.

http://injusticeinseattle.blogspot.com/2009/03/resetting-expectations-in-malika.html

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Seattle police brutality update: The feds gets involved.

From Ak:

According to this Seattle Times piece, the US Department of Justice (aka “the feds”) is investigating King County deputy sheriff Thomas Schene’s buckwild, on-camera beatdown of 15-year-old Malika Calhoun. That’s a good thing because there seems to be a lickle problem in the King County sheriff’s department.

Just last December another deputy, Brian Bonner, was found innocent of violating a female suspect’s civil rights when he “allegedly” kneed her in the head as she lay face down on the ground in handcuffs. He also reportedly lifted her by her hair and slammed her head into a patrol car hood. Several of his fellow cops peeped the savagery and testified against him, but the jury wasn’t convinced.

Hopefully with the videotape of the Schene attack, assistant US attorney Kelly Harris will be able to get a felony conviction. (Right now in local court Schene is up for a bullshit misdemeanor)

Sidenote: King County Sheriff Sue Rahr, the first female elected to that office, should be feeling some hellacious heat.

Seattle stand up! In fact, everybody stand up. If we can get all up in arms about Chris Brown and Rihanna, we need to be losing our shit about COPS beating up girls and women.

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Caught on tape: Seattle deputy pummels a 15-year-old girl

From Ak:

This nauseating November 2008 surveillance video should be A BIG FUCKING STORY. It shows a Seattle sheriff’s deputy, Paul Schene, beating down a 15-year-old Black girl like she’s a 300-pound animal hopped up on PCP. Apparently that’s what you get when you allegedly steal a car and kick your shoe off in the direction of the cop stuffing you into an interview room.

For his unabashed savagery, this King County cop is currently standing trial for fourth-degree assault. Of course he’s pleaded innocent. Just like he did when he was exonerated for shooting two people “in the line of duty” in 2002 and 2006. One of those people died, by the way.

This has got to be addressed. It has to. It just has to. More details/links/whatever on how coming soon.

PS: Post-race my ass.

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Filed under the devil's work, Uncategorized