Slow news day=Random body fun

From “Get Me Bodied” to “Your Body Is a Wonderland,” our bodies come up in popular music every five minutes. Herewith–on the slowest news day ever–a smattering of body-centered songs and phrases that make Ak feel like She-Ra. There’s only one rule: You can’t judge her for her randomness.

“Get Me Bodied” (Beyonce Knowles, 2006)

Bey brings it with weave-patting, Dereon-pushing, and Double Dutch-worthy precision.

Well played, Beyonce.

Well played, Beyonce.

“My Body” (LSG. 1997)

What happens when you mash up Keith Sweat’s bleating, the late Gerald LeVert’s growling and Johnny Gill’s endless melisma? A slinky slow jam more cheesetastic than a Pasaic, New Jersey, combover. If you don’t believe Ak, let the hook speak for itself: “My body all over your boday./Your body all over my boday./My body all over your body, it’s your boday babay. (All over your body babe…)” Case closed.

And the award for best song with the word body in it 72,897 times goes to...

And the award for best song with the word body in it 72,897 times goes to...

“Let’s Get Physical” (Olivia Newton John, 1981)

Braided headband? $3. Australian blonde with a twee voice? $100. Sexual innuendo thinly veiled by pro-aerobics imagery? Priceless.

If a body talks in the forest and no one hears it, is that body really talking?

If a body talks in the forest and no one hears it, is that body really talking?

“I’ll House You” (The Jungle Brothers, 1988)

Somehow when the Jungle Brothers suggested that we enter their hut and give them body, it didn’t sound the least bit unpleasant.

jungle bros

Ak got housed more times than she'd like to admit

“Everybody Eats” (Sesame Street jam, sometime in the 70s)

It’s hard to indulge in food issues when you’re humming along to lyrics like, “Everybody eats/Everybody eats/Meat, fish and cereal/Carrots, peas and beets…”

In the real world, this song would be called "Everybody is Entitled to Eat, But All Kinds of Evil Conspire to Ensure That Only Some Eat." But hey, it's Sesame Street!

In the real world, this song would be called "Everybody is Entitled to Eat, But All Kinds of Evil Conspire to Ensure That Only Some Eat." But hey, it's Sesame Street!

“Cleva” (Erykah Badu, 2000)

Ms. Badu at her best: Hilarious. Country. Subversive. Brilliant. See for yourself: “This is how I look with no makeup./And with no bra my ninnies hang down low./My hair ain’t never hung down to my shoulders./And it might not grow. Shit, you never know./But I’m cleva when I bust a rhyme./I’m cleva, always on your mind…”

Cleva indeed.

Cleva indeed.

Now, which body songs make you want to jump back and kiss yourself? Share. Now!

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Slow news day=Random body fun

  1. IP

    Salt N Pepa, “I desire” especially “every curve on my body got a story to tell”

  2. Old N Ashy

    Everybody Eats runs through my mind like 5 times a day.

    and don’t forget Queen Latifah, “Give me body!” Isn’t that where the give me body all started?

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