If she were a rapper, Ak would try to charge Red Engine a fee for pumping their premium denim. But alas, she’s just a medium-sized Black girl with broad hips and a round butt who lives check to check and writes stuff.
Anyway, Red Engine jeans get love because they hug Ak’s body like her old jawn who was secretly engaged to someone else but at the time seemed like such a good idea.
Unlike her old jawn, Red Engine jeans actually like grown women. They don’t do ignorant, cheap shit. They don’t whisker at the hip or shrink too much when you dry them on low. No matter where Ak is with her diet, Red Engine jeans make her feel like the glass is half full.Now, like most fine denim prodcuts, Red Engine jeans cost too much. But at least she got the first pair for free. They were the latest in a long line of hand-me-downs from her big sis, Asali.**
She bought the second pair at retail price. Sure, they’re depreciating in value, but that’s OK because when Ak rocks these jeans to work, to the club and on a date, she feels covered. In fact, if Ak wasn’t kinda broke, she’d buy stock in Red Engine and randomly yell “choo choo” at potential consumers.
Question: What clothes make you feel like yelling choo choo at potential customers?
Asali next to her brilliant debut. 5 Under 35 bi@#hes!
Added bonus: that’s a Jamel Shabazz pic on the cover.