Since it debuted, I have been trying to finagle a way to get someone to nominate me as a fashion basket case who needs the tough love direction and $5,000 provided by TLC’s What Not to Wear. No one has ever seemed interested in making this dream of mine come true, so I have to make do with just watching others get transformed. I love this show because it is the perfect combo of “it’s what on the inside that really matters” (ie, everyone leaves feeling a surge in their confidence and take-on-the-worldness) and “it’s what’s on the outside that really matters” (ie, if you stop dressing like a slut/old lady/teenager/truck driver and find the blazer/wrap dress that nips in at your thinnest point, then the world is yours for the taking). I would like to say that true confidence has nothing to do with how you look, but I want nothing more than a session with Stacy, Clinton and Carmindy (I’ll pass on Nick Arojo, I never trust what he does with Black hair) to transform my life.
(I heart Stacy, Clinton and Carmindy.)
Anyway, because What Not to Wear is my cable TV-equivalent of a breakthrough session with a therapist, I wanted to trust in TLC’s new show, How to Look Ten Years Younger. Not possible. It is at times cruel (when they force people into a plexiglass case out in blinding daylight and have strangers say what is wrong with them), at times barbaric (a chemical peel, waxing, electrolysis and botox all-in-one session) and most times, it seems to gloss over all of the love yourself feel-goodness of What Not to Wear and just focuses on getting someone to whiten their teeth, unnaturally smooth out wrinkles and dress “better” (quotes needed based on some of the fashion monstrosities I’ve seen passed off as improvements).
Is it just me or is this show like asking Nicole Kidman to be your self-help coach?